22 weeks, 6 days

Today, I had another check-up appointment with my doctor. It wasn't the usual guy, it was a lady who I like much more. This time Edward went with me. We listened to the hearbeat (I always get emotional at that part) and she measured my belly. I weigh 148! Omg! I feel much bigger though. She said he was looking healthy and everything was going great. I decided not to take this test to check for down syndrome. It was my choice to not know. If anything is wrong with baby, God intended it, and I shouldn't be worried about anything. I'll love him no matter what more than anything and I feel it was better not knowing. But everything went great at the appointment! I really love being pregnant. I don't know why, but I just love it. Sometimes I hate how things are harder and more of a hassle, but overall, I love the feeling that I am carrying a human life. I guess only if you've been pregnant, you'd know what I mean. As for work, I am working A LOT. I am now saving money from every check and putting it into an account for Jake. Did I mention I'm set on the name Jake? I love it:) Middle name, still unsure but Jake is it for the first name. I'm feeling great, no sickness or anything. I just gotta start being active more so the birthing will go much better. Well, gotta go for now:)

21 weeks, 6 days

Tonight, my mom, Edward, and I went to this dinner banquet held at the Modesto Pregnancy Center. I didn't know what to expect, I just knew it was to benefit the Center. Modesto Pregnancy Center specializes in pregnancy tests, counseling, and overall help for teen moms in our community. They provide diapers, formula, and so much more for mothers in need. My mom felt we had to give back in some way. We attended the dinner and listened to very touching testimonies how the center has helped these young girls. One girl shared her story, saying abortion was the only thing on her mind when she found out she was pregnant at 17. She went to the center and in a matter of weeks they helped her change her mind to see that pregnancy is a beautiful thing and God doesn't want anyone's life cut short. It was so emotional hearing her struggles and how the center has been nothing but help to her. She brought up her precious baby boy and thanked the women working there for inspiring her to be a young mother regardless of how hard the situation is. I realized then how lucky I was to have the support I have at home. I sometimes take my family for granted, but tonight I realized that I have an amazing life and this baby will be a blessing to all of us, no matter what:)

19 weeks, 6 days

It's A Boy!!!

I've never been so happy!

He is healthy and all of his organs

are developed and working great!

He wiggles around and stretches

out his legs! It was amazing!

Mommy already loves her little prince:)

19 weeks, 5 days

Tomorrow is the big day!! Boy or Girl? My appt is at 8 in the morning and I'm going with my mom and step-mom, Audrey. I am soooo excited! We're going to Precision Imaging to get the full on sonogram. I'm so nervous. My guts tell me it's a boy, but I think I want a girl. But then I want a boy too. It doesn't matter I just can't wait! My sister Becca asked me the other day, "Taci, (she can't say Kaci) can you have a girl and a boy? I want a girl and a boy." She makes me laugh. She is probably more excited than anyone for this new baby. All I hear all day is "Taci, I got a ball for your baby and me." "Is your baby tired?" "What is your baby saying right now?" "Can the doctor take out your baby now?" She cracks me up! Well, I have to get some sleep for the big day! Whoo hoo!

18 weeks, 6 days

So everyone's leaving to college soon:( All my friends are packing up to go far away to have the time of their lives. While I'm stuck here at the beautiful University of Modesto, bagging groceries for old snobby people, oh yeah, with a huge pot belly. Urgh!! I'm so sad. It was my dream to go far to college. I hate seeing college football games on TV, just thinking that I could be there. Cal Poly move in day is in 2 days. It was marked on all my calendars. I had to cross out "Kaci leaves for college!!" to put down "Kaci's OBGYN appt." I was at Target with my mom and saw all of the dorm decor. I would have loved to decorate my dorm and pack and get all organized for college. Instead, I bought some baby outfits. For some reason baby clothes always seem to make me happy:) I also got some coco butter lotion for my future stretch marks. Ew.

17 weeks, 3 days

Today was the first day of school. My class schedule consists of Ballet (I know, right?), Humanities, Political Science, Guidance 101, Math, and Theatre Production. I did it. I am officially a full-time student. It took so much work trying to get into all of these classes. But I stuck with it and got some classes. Even us pregnant girls can go to school! I'm finally relieved that I managed to become a full student:)

16 weeks, 4 days

Wow. So today I decided to take all of my sisters to the mall for lunch. As I held hands with my 3-year-old sister, Becca, we got in line for Hot Dog On a Stick. I looked to my left and had to double take who was walking toward me. The baby's dad, "Chuck" was coming straight my way. I looked up to make eye contact as he quickly looked down at the floor and brushed right by me. Honestly? Wow. I've never felt so low. How can he just walk right by the woman with his child in her belly! Omg! What is the world coming to? Anyways, I felt sick to my stomach. So much for craving a corn dog.

15 weeks, 5 days

Continuing the march towards normal proportions, baby's legs now outmeasure the arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. My baby is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though I still can't feel the movements.

15 weeks, 4 days

Did I mention I'm extremely emotional? Last night I cried myself to sleep. Why me? Why? I worked so hard in high school. I never even got a C. I took extra classes, did extra-cirricular activities, and volunteered all over Modesto just to look good on a college application. I stayed up late doing homework and worked on projects for weeks. I did everything to the best I could. I tried so hard in high school, I really did. And what do kids work hard for in highschool for? To go to their dream college. Well I got into my dream college. Ten minutes from the beach in San Luis Obispo, voted the 8th best city to live in the U.S. I was finally living my lifelong dream and going straight to a 4 year university. But not anymore. Now I'm not even in school. This isn't in my life plans. I had my life all planned out. 4 years at Cal Poly, get my teaching credential, become a teacher, get married, buy a house, get a dog, and start the perfect family. But not anymore. I'm not even going to be a teacher anymore. They don't make enough money that I need for me and my baby. So plan B is nursing. Why me? I know kids my age who never did anything in high school? And are going to state schools. Kids who cheated their way through high school, got bad grades, and still are going to universities? Wow. Why! I'm so mad. I deserve to go to a nice college and live that college life everyone looks forward to living. I just cried all night thinking of everything I worked for seeming like it's going down the drain.

15 weeks, 2 days

Honestly? Sorry for this venting, but I'm so frustrated. For starters, I finally got to register at Modesto Junior College. After transfering all my information from Cal Poly to MJC, it was time to pick classes. I went online last night to pick a few. I need 12 units to be considered a full time student. So as I scrolled down the list of random classes, I noticed every class I need is full. Every single one. History & Math, full. English & Medical classes, full. All full. The only ones left are Agriculture Skills, Agriculture Special Training, Agriculture in California, Agriculture Terminology, I think you get the picture. Oh my gosh! I don't want to be an Ag kid, I want regular classes! Urgh! Oh and there's ballet. Ballet? Honestly? Fat girl trying to spin around in a tu tu? I don't think so. Urgh! So I kept scrolling and found a few classes that I don't need, but will take just to be a student. Prevention of Disease, Medical Assisting, and Dental Science. Random I know. So I registered for them. Sorry, you cannot take these classes without taking previous classes. URGHHH! So I have zero classes. Thanks MJC.

14 weeks, 6 days

Well, people are starting to notice. It seems like over-night I grew bigger and I can't suck it in any longer. It's time to let it loose and show my pooch. Oh, and my clothes don't fit! Oh my goodness. I try so hard to button my size 4 pants. Say goodbye size four, hello size forty. I have to rubberband my button on my pants for them to fit. My bras don't fit. Shirts feel super tight. I feel like I weigh 300 pounds. Everything takes so much energy to do and afterwards I feel exhausted. I mean, I love sleeping and all, but it's so time-consuming having to nap all the time and having to sit after standing for only 10 minutes. Work is getting harder and seems to get longer. I usually am full of energy at work, but lately I feel like I need a break every half hour. Everything seems like it takes so much to do so little. I hate the feeling of being exhausted. I honestly do nothing all day because I don't feel like getting ready. I sweat so easily. I am grumpy. I cry at everything. And I'm fat. I can't take this any longer!!

13 weeks, 3 days

So today was my second doctor's appointment! The wait was long again and I was finally seen. My weight: 140 pounds! Oh my goodness! I thought I was going to get another sonogram, but not this appointment. Instead, I got a full physical. The doctor rubbed some nasty jelly-like goo on my stomach and put a heart beat monitor on it. 156 beats per minute! It was loud so everyone could hear it. It was so real and I was so relieved to know Baby is doing good in there:) You still can't really tell I'm pregnant, it just looks like I'm chubby. But I've already been looking at nursery furniture and baby clothes:) I'm getting really excited about being a mom. It has always been my dream to be a mom, and no matter what the situation is, I'm happy. At first, I was so concerned what other people would think, that I'd forget to appreciate the fact that God has blessed me with a child. But I'm passed that stage now, and I am making this the best experience ever:]

12 weeks

Keep track of the size of my baby!

As I move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed.

11 weeks

Fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

10 weeks

With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)

9 weeks, 3 days

Today was my first doctor's appointment! I was so nervous and excited at the same time! I didn't know what to expect. I walked in to see couples everywhere with ladies and their huge bellies. And here I was, walking in with my mom. I got into the room and met the nurse. She said to undress from the waist down and sit on this huge chair. How awkward! I was so nervous. The doctor finally came in and it was a man doctor. What! I didn't ask to see this guy! It turns out he was my doctor's replacement. Now this was going to be extra awkward. But the minute I saw my baby on the sonogram screen, everything the doctor was saying blurred away and all I was thinking was "wow." It was simply amazing. Baby was moving and moving and I could see it's heartbeat going a mile a minute. I never felt more like a mother, until that very second. He said everything looked great and I have never been happier:]

9 weeks, 1 day

Today, I'm in Oregon visiting family at my aunt's house for our annual Fourth of July get-together. I broke the news to my mom's side of the family as my Nana and Tia's were overwhelmed with joy that a new baby was going to join the family. It's starting to become easier telling family, because I know they will love and support me in any situation. I bought Baby it's first rattle of an elephant at the Oregon Zoo. The shock is wearing off and I'm beginning to look forward to being a mommy:]

8 weeks, 2 days

Today was the day of my graduation party. Tons of family and friends came down to celebrate me graduating and getting ready to head down south to college. But I started to break the news to people, telling them I wasn't going to be leaving and I was going to stay in town to attend the local junior college. I was heartbroken telling everyone. It was my dream to pack up, decorate my dorm, and start a whole new life 4 hours away from home. But I had to make the best of the situation. I'm going from dorm room furniture to baby room furniture. College books to diapers. And from living by the beach, to my same old room at home. This was going to take some getting used to.

8 weeks

The news started to spread within immediate family. My siblings and parents were the only few to know. It's nice having such a big, loving, supporting family. I couldn't be more grateful to have their backs through this whole thing. I never expected this to happen, but I'm glad I have the support system I do. Thanks guys:]

7 weeks, 5 days

Well it wasn't just me who created this baby. I had to tell the father. He was a friend, who was a one time thing, and probably never expected this to happen. I pulled up to his house in tears. I waited in the car thinking how he was possibly going to react. I didn't even know how to tell him. Hey, how are you? By the way, we are having a baby. Oh my gosh I can't believe this is happening. I text him telling him I was outside and needed to talk. I hadn't talked to him in weeks, I think he knew what was up. I told him that I had gone to the clinic a couple days ago and the doctor said I was seven weeks pregnant. I looked up and saw the shock and fear on his face. I was already a mess in tears. He put his hands over his head and didn't say anything. H asked how sure I was and I handed him that pink verification paper. He read it and I further explained what had happened as he still sat in silence.He said he didn't know what to do. He asked what I was going to do and I told him, as a Christian, I don't believe in abortion and I was going to keep the baby. He didn't agreee. He felt that abortion was the only way to go, since we are both so young. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that, but he insisted. He kept saying over and over he didn't know what to do. He said he has a future ahead of him. Like I don't? Hello? He said he was too young to be a father. Like I'm not too young to be a mom? I told him it's both of us in this situation, not just him. I left angry in his unwillingness to think about keeping the baby. I cried all the way home and got a text message from him about an hour later. He asked if I had decided what I was going to do. I told him very simply, "I'm keeping my baby." He then went on to ask if I minded that he wasn't going to be in the picture. Hold up? Do I mind if you are going to be in the picture? Uh, yeah I do mind. I wasn't just me who did this. How are you going to get away scratch free from this whole thing? I texted back "Do what you want." I was so angry and upset. He responded "Oh, okay. I'm sorry I just can't be a father right now." Wow. Leave me hanging why don'tcha? Urgh, I was heated. But I thought to myself, this guy really doesn't want anything to do with me or my baby. Then so be it. He decided he didn't want to be in the picture. How? I have no idea. But that's what it came down to. I'm not going to force him to be in this baby's life. I don't want him regretting it in front of my baby. His attitude was unwanted in my book. It was devastating, knowing I'd have to have this baby on my own. All by myself. But with prayer, and the help of my family, I knew I was able to do it. With or without him, I'm going to get through this.

7 weeks, 4 days

Today was the day I had to tell my parents. I started with my mom. I pulled her into my room and took the Pregnancy Verification paper out and handed it to her. I figured it would be easier than saying it. She stayed quiet, and nodded her head. I burst into tears as she calmed me down. She told me everything was going to be okay and we could get through this together. My mom has always told me I can come to her for anything and everything. I knew she was upset and disappointed, but that didn't stop her from encouraging me and reassuring me that I was making the right choice by keeping the baby. She promised God will take care of the whole situation and he will help me with everything. We then headed to my dad's house, and I was scared as can be. My heart was seriously about to come out of my chest. How can I be pregnant? How am I even going to begin to tell my dad? The guy who raised me to be a strong girl. The guy who is never disappointed with me. The guy who's baby girl is having a baby. Turn around Mom, I can't do this. My dad and I are best friends. I'm his little girl and he's my big pops. We have the closest relationship. How was I going to sit there and tell him what I have done? We finally pulled up. I felt sick to my stomach. We went inside and my mom and I sat down, and he knew something was wrong. I put my head down and folded my arms as I listened to my mom do all the talking. She explained that I was not going to be going to Cal Poly in the fall and that I am going to be staying home. Just say it already! "Kaci's going to be having a baby." Oh no, she actually said it. No. My heart raced even faster I knew he was going to start yelling. I thought for sure he was going to blow up. I hesitated with my eyes full of tears and my hands shaking uncontrollably. I've never been so afraid in my entire life. I looked up to see my dad in tears. He didn't say anything as my mom continued to talk about my plans of keeping the baby and so on. I couldn't stop sobbbing. I finally just started yelling out "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Dad." He was so shocked. How could I disappoint him like this? I've never let him down. He never blew up and began to calm me down. He asked questions and I answered, even though he proabably couldn't understand anything I was saying. He, like my mom, told me that we could all get through this together. It's going to take alot of hard work and my life is going to completely change, but we had to move forward. Wow. My dad and mom are the best. How could they still be so caring when they are so upset? I knew I had the absolute best parents in the world. I thought I would never see another day after telling them, but they are my parents and they will love me no matter what.

7 weeks, 3 days

The big news came today. I bought the simplest pregnancy test at Target a week ago, figuring I wasn't going to use it anyways. This morning, just like any other morning, got up outta bed and headed toward the bathroom. I grabbed the test and said why not. Positive. I couldn't believe it. No? This isn't right? I shut my eyes and opened them up again, hoping to wake up from a nightmare. Nope. It was real. How could this happen! This stupid test is wrong. In tears, I left the bathroom and had a friend take me to the local clinic. I waited anxiously until the nurse would finally call my name. What seemed like hours passed, and I was finally called. I peed in the cup and waited. The nurse came in excited as can be and said "Well, You're pregnant!" How could she be excited at a time like this! I was overwhelmed with feelings. Sadness, shock, anxiety, and nervous. I was almost seven weeks pregnant.