15 weeks, 5 days

Continuing the march towards normal proportions, baby's legs now outmeasure the arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. My baby is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though I still can't feel the movements.

15 weeks, 4 days

Did I mention I'm extremely emotional? Last night I cried myself to sleep. Why me? Why? I worked so hard in high school. I never even got a C. I took extra classes, did extra-cirricular activities, and volunteered all over Modesto just to look good on a college application. I stayed up late doing homework and worked on projects for weeks. I did everything to the best I could. I tried so hard in high school, I really did. And what do kids work hard for in highschool for? To go to their dream college. Well I got into my dream college. Ten minutes from the beach in San Luis Obispo, voted the 8th best city to live in the U.S. I was finally living my lifelong dream and going straight to a 4 year university. But not anymore. Now I'm not even in school. This isn't in my life plans. I had my life all planned out. 4 years at Cal Poly, get my teaching credential, become a teacher, get married, buy a house, get a dog, and start the perfect family. But not anymore. I'm not even going to be a teacher anymore. They don't make enough money that I need for me and my baby. So plan B is nursing. Why me? I know kids my age who never did anything in high school? And are going to state schools. Kids who cheated their way through high school, got bad grades, and still are going to universities? Wow. Why! I'm so mad. I deserve to go to a nice college and live that college life everyone looks forward to living. I just cried all night thinking of everything I worked for seeming like it's going down the drain.

15 weeks, 2 days

Honestly? Sorry for this venting, but I'm so frustrated. For starters, I finally got to register at Modesto Junior College. After transfering all my information from Cal Poly to MJC, it was time to pick classes. I went online last night to pick a few. I need 12 units to be considered a full time student. So as I scrolled down the list of random classes, I noticed every class I need is full. Every single one. History & Math, full. English & Medical classes, full. All full. The only ones left are Agriculture Skills, Agriculture Special Training, Agriculture in California, Agriculture Terminology, I think you get the picture. Oh my gosh! I don't want to be an Ag kid, I want regular classes! Urgh! Oh and there's ballet. Ballet? Honestly? Fat girl trying to spin around in a tu tu? I don't think so. Urgh! So I kept scrolling and found a few classes that I don't need, but will take just to be a student. Prevention of Disease, Medical Assisting, and Dental Science. Random I know. So I registered for them. Sorry, you cannot take these classes without taking previous classes. URGHHH! So I have zero classes. Thanks MJC.

14 weeks, 6 days

Well, people are starting to notice. It seems like over-night I grew bigger and I can't suck it in any longer. It's time to let it loose and show my pooch. Oh, and my clothes don't fit! Oh my goodness. I try so hard to button my size 4 pants. Say goodbye size four, hello size forty. I have to rubberband my button on my pants for them to fit. My bras don't fit. Shirts feel super tight. I feel like I weigh 300 pounds. Everything takes so much energy to do and afterwards I feel exhausted. I mean, I love sleeping and all, but it's so time-consuming having to nap all the time and having to sit after standing for only 10 minutes. Work is getting harder and seems to get longer. I usually am full of energy at work, but lately I feel like I need a break every half hour. Everything seems like it takes so much to do so little. I hate the feeling of being exhausted. I honestly do nothing all day because I don't feel like getting ready. I sweat so easily. I am grumpy. I cry at everything. And I'm fat. I can't take this any longer!!

13 weeks, 3 days

So today was my second doctor's appointment! The wait was long again and I was finally seen. My weight: 140 pounds! Oh my goodness! I thought I was going to get another sonogram, but not this appointment. Instead, I got a full physical. The doctor rubbed some nasty jelly-like goo on my stomach and put a heart beat monitor on it. 156 beats per minute! It was loud so everyone could hear it. It was so real and I was so relieved to know Baby is doing good in there:) You still can't really tell I'm pregnant, it just looks like I'm chubby. But I've already been looking at nursery furniture and baby clothes:) I'm getting really excited about being a mom. It has always been my dream to be a mom, and no matter what the situation is, I'm happy. At first, I was so concerned what other people would think, that I'd forget to appreciate the fact that God has blessed me with a child. But I'm passed that stage now, and I am making this the best experience ever:]